Update

So I have gotten a little busy and have neglected the blog. Not that anyone noticed ;-)

First let's say the kittens are almost weaned, and the bunnies are bigger then the cats. Jonathon has gotten to go to the zoo and the strawberry festival this month.

My mother's day was super sweet. My son decided to catch me a turtle (because he knows how much mommy likes turtles). So I have a turtle to add to the other zoo animals. It is sweet that he thought of me all on his own, and that he was so excited about the mother's day present he got me. I need to add my dh also got me a roses (I love getting flowers) and a pretty pillow that say Happy Mother’s Day. So it was an exceedingly good mother’s day, if I do say so myself.

Positive Attitude

So my son decides to come up to me today, when I was fussing at him, and goes "look positive attttttttttitude dude." Well of course I crack up. I mean what can you do when he does that? His teacher at daycare seems to have decided a new tactic when the children are in a fussy mood. Well all I can say is I know it worked on me. Now of course because it worked once, he will do it over and over again. Oh well, now I have this here to remind me it is worth it.

It continues

Well now instead of 1 dog, 1 fish, 2 cats, 2 bunnies, 3 frogs. We now have 1 dog, 1 fish, 2 cats, 2 bunnies, 3 frogs, and 5 kittens. Now before people think that it would be obvious, because we started with two cats, both of our cats are Girls.

Pets

Okay, so my two bunnies that little over a week ago were the size of the palm of my hands have doubled in size. They also have two completely different personalities. It is funny, one is very adventurous, and the other is very timid. My ds scares them both equally though. ;-) He thinks he can catch them; they on the other hand are quite quick. Which actually ends up in a chase, and the bunnies win.

My ds has been at work with me all week. Let me tell you it would be wonderful when he goes back to daycare. We both had a cold this week; we had the stomach flu this week. I just couldn’t bring myself to make him go to school when I really, REALLY didn’t want to go to work, but had too. I guess it is better for him to be here, and have lots of quite time, then at school and have a pretty strict schedule. I think I am going to be so happy when we are finally well, I will jump up and down. Maybe throw a party.

I see sunshine...

So with Easter fast approaching I find myself doing better. Maybe it is the promise that Jesus makes all things new. Everyday I feel stronger, and happier. I do not have this burden of sadness hanging over me. It could be actually talking to the good doctor, or actually confronting my husband about issues that I had not stood up to before, or just passage of time. My son seems to be benefiting from the changes too, which helps see positive change so quickly. I find it easier and easier to be the person I want to be.

I should also say we have two new bunnies. Now we went to a few pets to a menagerie of animals. We have two cats, a dog, two bunnies, two frogs, and a fish. We had more fish but since our move I can not keep any gold fish. I spent almost 100$ on trying to make their environment just right for them to live, and still they die. So we have Fred, he is the algae eater, and has lived through a hurricane and the move. So he gets the place to himself till we find out what is killing the other fish. My daddy told me to concentrate on the mammals and forget the poor fish.

Not now anyways...

So I decided against the little pills! Figured it was much better not to rock the boat even more. I mean it is natural to be upset over losing two babies; I don't think a band-aid is the way to go. So were to now? Well I have started paying more attention to my surroundings. This helps in some ways, now if we could get the sleeping thing back to normal, we would be doing much better. My job is up in the air now. I am stressed over my ds Possible health concerns. And I am going to have to have a major confrontation with my dh over his behavior. I found out it isn't something I have just been to sensitive over. SO can we say added stress on top of the grief? Or when it rains it pours. Well I am going to be optimistic ;-). I am sure something will give soon. :-) I just refuse to bet which way it will give.

Pills, Pills, Pills

Okay, so I saw a psychologist last Friday. Now he is under the impression I might need a little pill to help me over the grief I have been experiencing. The problem is I do not handle anti-depressants very well. Now I have to admit it has been a dozen years since I had them, and he says they have made quite a few changes in them, but I am a little worried about it all the same. Now he did say I could get over it without them, but that it might make it easier, say for 3 to 6 months. Now these little pills are bad if you want to say, get pregnant. This is what my husband and I would like to try to do in the next month or so. So I sit here, promising to give it some serious thought. My husband didn’t say anything, my mother said I shouldn’t, and my daddy said I should. So they really are no help. I really don’t want any little pills I have to say, but I recently read an article that said that children of parents who are depressed themselves are likely to develop neurosis if the parent does not get help for the depression. So what do I do, does actually starting counseling considered help, or do I need the little pill, for my ds sake?

Just a lil soap box

Okay, so I have to vent somewhere, might as well be here huh?

So I am a big supporter of breastfeeding and Attachment Parenting. Now I also don't go around pushing my views on others. But it really gets my goat when I hear mothers talking about how inconvienant it is to breastfeed, and how formula is a good alternative so they don't have to be inconvienced. How selfish can a mom be. Now before we go further, there are medical reasons a baby or a mother should not breastfeed. And then it is good that there are formulas for these children, so they don't starve. BUT to be more concerned with your social life, or lack there of, over the benefits your child would recieve by breastfeeding is just WRONG. We were designed to breastfeed our children, the breastmilk was designed as everything a child needs in infancy. It decreases the risk of SIDS, it decreases the risk of obesity, it decreases the risk of diabetes, it increases the IQ points of children, the list goes on and on.

Anyone looking for support or benefits of breastfeeding can contact a local la leche league or visit www.breastfeeding.com

Tired

So how tired can you be and function normally? I am on a record to try and find out. We moved a month ago, and I haven't slept all night since. One day soon, also I am going to try to transition my ds into his own room. So then I really will lose sleep. So we will find out how much sleep I actually need to function, and how much is just "beauty" sleep.

Everyone Else

So I invite my lil sis and her kiddos for dinner tonight, and now I have a housefull. My uncle is coming, my Daddy is coming, lil sis, and niece, and nephew. Now all I have to do is make sure there is enough food, and no one goes hungry. Maybe I should pick up a dessert!

So my lil sis had a blog, and I wanted to post on it, but it wouldn't let me without a blog of my own. So that is how this came to be. I might have much more to say now that this is here, not that I was looking to publish any thoughts.